Kids say the funniest things, apparently.
Pupils today have come up with a list of decidedly 21st century excuses for not delivering their homework on time.
Excuses now involve technology, although it seems many still lack any kind of wit or imagination. They include:
- My computer crashed and I lost it
- I finished my homework but then I deleted it by accident;
- I could not print it out;
- My internet was down so I could not do any research;
- I lost my laptop.
Some of the more promising examples include: “My dad’s computer was hacked by the Russians and they stole my homework”; whilst it is always refreshing to know that the family pet still gets a share of the blame: “The PC exploded when our dog went to the toilet on it”.
And for those junior Luddites who ignore the wealth of opportunity offered by technological failures, there’s always these gems:
- My mum put my homework in the washing machine, and then burnt it as she tried to iron it dry;
- The wind blew my homework into a pond, and then a swan ate it;
- My brother drove off with my homework in his lorry, and then he lost it in France.
But I can’t helping thinking my own favourite excuse – “I couldn’t be bothered” – would still carry a lot of weight today.
Groves Media 
I’m surprised none of them have reached for the “infringing my human rights” excuse yet. Homework is forced unpaid work!
Paul, as excuses go (with regards to English homework) take them out of Felix’s handbook: “My mother wasn’t interested in subject,/had no time/was too tired to deliver the goods (and anyway, only told her five minutes before leaving the house for school)”.
I nearly came to blows once with his English teacher after my slightly dumbing down prose of MY essay on Hardy’s bloody “Mayor of Castorbridge” so she wouldn’t be suspicious, only to be rewarded for my pains with a B. The verdict came at a parents’ evening (kids included); Felix thought he had never seen a more hilarious exercise in my trying to keep a lid on professional pride whilst covering up blatant deception.
U