Life is like a box of chocolates for The Apprentice

Oh, is that it?
It is all done and dusted on The Apprentice for another year.
Sir Alan has got his new £100,000-a-year dynamo and we can all sleep a little easier in our beds.
But where were the fireworks? What happened to the entertainment?
I found last night’s finale a bit like the whole series – underwhelming.
The big [...]

Fright night on The Apprentice

Every series we go through the same torture on The Apprentice.
We have to endure weeks of mind-numbing idiocy from the wannabes and then in the final two weeks we finally get something close to reality.
The interview week is arguably the best of the series. Although still an artificial scenario, at least we start to see [...]

Shop soiled on The Apprentice

We enjoyed the return of one of Sir Alan’s favourite tasks on The Apprentice last night.
He got the two teams of remaining wannabes to choose products and try and sell them on a TV shopping channel.
Watching him give a running commentary as the teams attempted to flog a suitably bizarre collection of goods, I can [...]

No room for cry babies on The Apprentice

It is enough to make you bawl like a baby.
The Apprentice is hurtling towards yet another finale and this year’s weekly theme looks like being: the less crap team will win.
So does that translate to a conclusion that the less crap candidate will eventually land the £100,000-a-year top prize working for Sir Alan?
If these people do [...]

All washed up on The Apprentice

In the triumph of arrogance and mediocrity over common sense and creativity that is The Apprentice, there really are only two words you need to know this week.
Cod shit.
That is the wonderfully descriptive way that everyone’s favourite village idiot James McQuillan chose to sum up his own team’s efforts to rebrand the faded seaside resort [...]

A rock gets rolled on The Apprentice

Week seven and we veered into Dragon’s Den territory on The Apprentice last night.
A selection of inventors paraded themselves and their brainchild in front of the business numpties, who had the task of picking two and trying to sell them to retailers.
I was fully expecting the words “disaster” and “no sale” to feature heavily and I [...]

Cock fighting on The Apprentice

It was Alpha Male night on The Apprentice.
The show’s two prize cocks squared up to each other as project managers on last night’s task, the aim of which was to get the best possible price for a motley collection of goods.
Philip and Ben went toe to toe, no quarter given or asked, in a brutal contest [...]

Snappy, Cackle and Plop goes The Apprentice

“I feel like a monkey with a new tool!”
That line has very little to do with this week’s write up of The Apprentice, but it is without doubt the quote of the series so far and one of the stand out pieces of nonsense of all time.
It ranks alongside “I am your boss” and “…as [...]

Causing a stink on The Apprentice

In week two of this series of The Apprentice blabbermouth waste of space James McQuillan revealed – a little too gleefully if you ask me – that he had done a nervous little wee in his pants when sitting in the boardroom facing the chop.
Now in week four and he’s been responsible for doing a big smell as well.
Can this man not [...]

Working up a sweat on The Apprentice

I am still a long way from feeling the burn.
Yet I am getting exercised by The Apprentice once more, not to mention a little hot and bothered.
I know it doesn’t matter. I know it is just a reality TV show.
I know this isn’t the “job interview from hell” and is more of an exploration of [...]