Thank heavens for blunt opticians.

I am now fully aware that my eyesight has indeed diminished slightly in the last couple of years and is likely to worsen a lot more over the next five years.

I know this because my optician today revealed the problem with my eyesight that I had suspected for a little while now – my age.

I’m now “of that age” when additional problems start to occur and between the ages of 40 and 45 – in other words over the next five years – I will notice a much more rapid decline in the quality of my vision.

Failing eyesight is serious. A recent report suggested up to 500,000 people in the UK risk losing their sight because of undiagnosed glaucoma.

Thankfully, apart from the poor long-sightedness and short-sightedness, I got a clean bill of health.

Although, there was no pussy-footing around in my optician’s straight-to-the-point analysis.

My long distance vision hasn’t really changed much at all over the last couple of years – it is still as crap (my word) as it ever was – but I now need help with close up stuff too.

And over the next five years my close up vision will deteriorate even more.

Still at least we now know that, thanks to Sarah Palin, wearing glasses is sexy again.

What tosh. Wearing glasses has always been sexy and always will.

I know this because I’ve been wearing mine for the best part of 30 years (not the same ones though) and have studiously resisted all suggestions that I should try contact lenses or even have laser eye treatment.

I couldn’t be doing with sticking a lens onto my eyeball every day, or have lasers beamed into my skull.

Besides, I like wearing glasses. Glasses suit me.

Which is just as well, really, as on top of the happy news about what age is doing to my eyesight is the fact that the new lenses I need come in at a cool £130.

Also, as the law of sod was bound to dictate, the frames I liked the most and which seemed best suited to me (a very appealing smile and coo from Rachel as I turned to face her was the clincher) were also the most expensive I tried on – another £130.

So, all in all, an expensive 90 minutes and confirmation that my middle-aged body is starting to fail me – not that I’m being overly melodramatic or anything.

Actually, I’m quite pleased. I knew I needed new lenses to cope with close up stuff, I now know my long sight is still good (as long as I wear my glasses, obviously) and I also now know that my field vision is very good.

I’ve also got some excellent new glasses.

Everything is indeed much clearer now…and now.


7 responses »

  1. FionaC says:

    I also want the sexy-making glasses but my face appears not to be the right shape 😦

  2. dp says:

    Maybe there’s a particular quality to your eyes that will have them deteriorate over the next five years. But, I wouldn’t generalise about it. I’m seeing better now than I did five years ago – and I might be a decade older than you. So if there’s no specific cause for concern, you might start looking forward to improved eyesight.

  3. Paul Groves says:

    dp: Given my optician’s response when he found out I was a journalist I’d hazard a guess he is fond of sweeping generalisations. I’m leaning towards the bright side as regards the next five years.

    Fiona: What can I say, I find all women in all glasses undeniably sexy…

  4. Ursula says:

    Paul, dear poor sausage – this is the ultimate sexpot of your dreams writing to you. To think they used to say that men don’t make passes at girls wearing glasses!

    Sarah Palin, my foot, I set a trend sporting the same shape of specs at least a year before she came to fame.

    Take heart, Paul, next it’ll be your bones creaking. As long as you keep your little grey cells in working order and leave it to Rachel to take flattering shots of her Mr Creative you’ll be just fine.


  5. Paul Groves says:

    U: The really exciting news is that we had his ‘n her’s appointments at the optician and Ms Creative needs glasses. She is now sat next to me wearing a glorious pair of red specs and is quite frankly looking sexy as hell. Marvellous!

  6. Mikki says:

    I took all my old glasses in to Specsavers to recycle them for some good cause and promptly chipped the only pair I had left (the first time in 20 years that I’ve EVER broken a pair of glasses).

    Huh. Both glasses and recycling are therefore stoopid.

  7. Paul Groves says:

    Mikki: That’ll be the pesky law of sod coming into effect then. Still, look on the bright side…oh, there isn’t one.

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