Am I middle class? Yes, probably (although I am still unsure about this whole class divide business).
Am I middle-aged? Absolutely, no denying that one.
Am I in crisis? I wasn’t the last time I looked.
But the latest silly season survey suggests I am suffering a very modern, middle class, mid-life crisis.
The proof – I’m 42 and I ride a bike.
I can’t deny that either.
And I’m quite happy to admit that I actively lust after various models and the latest gear on websites like Wiggle.
Yet, according to The Guardian’s take on this meaningless survey, I’m a prime candidate for this modern crisis.
Funny, I just thought I’d rediscovered the joys of riding a bike.
I’ve also rediscovered the simple pleasure that can be had from tinkering with your bike in the back garden, whilst your wife and cat watch.
Just like when I was a kid, my bike makes me smile.
It has also taken on a new significance in recent years.
So I hardly think I’m struggling with a crisis, although I do check out other blokes’ wheels when they ride past and sometimes I get a pang of envy. However, even if I had a few thousand pounds spare, I’m not sure I’d spend it all on a bike.
I’ll admit that I’ve got my eye on a couple of two-wheel lovelies, I can’t help myself. They wouldn’t cost thousands, but I can think of 101 other things I could spend the money on.
Perhaps that is why I’m not in crisis. I’m not hell-bent on getting the latest bike or gear.
I just want to keep on having fun.