I hate myself for it, but I’m finally ready to admit.

I am addicted and I don’t want anyone to help me.

The Apprentice is with us again tonight in double-quick time following last year’s triumphant (sic) return.

After a brief, politically induced hiatus, the last series came back with yet another stellar collection competing to sit at the diminutive Sir Alan’s Sugar’s tiny feet (I’m speculating about the size of his feet, maybe he wears shoes like a clown because of his enormous feet).

I’m addicted because of the cringe factor and the fact it offers a portrait of reality that I’m sure exists somewhere but which I hope I’ll always manage to avoid. But above all, I’m addicted because of the comedy value The Apprentice provides.

If you treat it as a fly on the wall parody or an Office-inpsired peak inside the boardrooms of our major corporate high-flyers, then The Apprentice works on every level.

If you doubt it, look at this collection of some of the mind-numbing utterances of previous candidates.

Or better still, this round-up of the next crop of wannabes and their ridiculous statements.

If you can stand it, then read Stuart “The Brand” Baggs’ dummies guide to business success as there’s no-one more qualified for guru status than a failed Apprentice candidate.

It is all pure comedy gold. Really, you couldn’t make it up.

I’m ready for Series 7 of The Apprentice. In fact I’m going to give it 150% of my TV viewing attention.

Are you?

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