Literally, I’ve had enough.

Literally, it is starting to hinder my enjoyment of the programme.

Literally, I don’t think I can take much more.

The Apprentice is back on our TV screens, literally.

My tactic of treating the series as an inspired comedy show has worked over the last couple of series. And the first couple of episodes of the new trawl through the comedic goldmine of corporate UK has provided more than enough genuine belly laughs to keep my happy.

Literally, a top hat as not seen in London's famous Top Hat Cleaners

But there has been something nagging away at me which has now started to curtail my enjoyment. It has certainly prevented me from raising a smile or chuckle.

In a programme well-known for hyperbole and overuse of meaningless buzzwords and phrases – giving it 150%!!!! –  The Apprentice has stooped to a new low. Literally.

I’m beginning to suspect that the candidates on this series have clubbed together to put a sneaky side bet on whether they can, literally, create a new world record for overuse of a single word in a TV series.

Almost every sentence that the latest chancer to be booted off the show – the all-seeing, all-knowing optical tycoon Gavin Winstanley – uttered began with the word. And he wasn’t alone.

Literally, most of his team joined in. It literally proved infectious because then members of the opposing team starting joining in. Literally.

At least the (not so) high and mighty Sir Alan and his two helpers didn’t get caught up what was, literally, turning into a farce.

Aside from that increasingly annoying gripe, The Apprentice has so far managed to live down to expectations. Once again the clueless and the shouty are providing an endless supply of comedy highlights and proving how gloriously inept they are in life, not just in business.

It is difficult to single out a highlight after just three episodes, although Karren Brady’s wonderfully deadpan reaction in Top Hat Cleaners as the team she was shadowing glumly trudged out minus the top hat they were so desperate to find was a moment of genius.

After three episodes we’ve seen three men given the boot. I’m hoping episode four will see the oily Vincent become the fourth chap to be fired, literally.

Despite the overuse of a certain word, The Apprentice continues to be the best comedy on TV (although Stewart Lee is pushing hard).

I literally can’t wait for the next episode to come around.



5 responses »

  1. Ursula says:

    My dear dear Paul, I knew I could rely on you. If not on myself. Here I am (cringe factor) being once more drawn to the Raef equivalent (remember him?) of this series and, by association, thinking to myself: Ha, let’s see if Paul is still with it. And you are.

    Dear dog in heaven, Paul. I don’t think you are a betting man. Neither am I. I wonder this year, I wonder. Also shows you that – just like a chicken – never stick your head out too early. You might get the chop before you’ve been fattened. Not that that last poor excuse of a rooster didn’t deserve to hit the stock pot earlier rather than later.

    Looking forward to, as in previous years, to your running comment; united on all firing and pointed fingers, yours,

  2. Paul Groves says:

    Oh no Ursula, surely not? Vincent? Really?
    He has no redeeming qualities, he even walks like his legs and arms belong to someone else. The look of distaste on Karren’s face when he’s using his “charm” says it all for me.
    Vincent is a classic Apprentice candidate – he talks the talk but then stumbles and falls at the first hurdle when he tries to walk the walk (and that applies to everything he tries to do).
    I’m not sure I’ll manage a running commentary on every episode, not least because I don’t think they deserve it!

  3. Ursula says:

    Paul, just watched the beauty on a one hour relay. If you are left speechless no doubt a nice bit of massage (for free) or a spray tan will help to revive your spirits.

    How well you know me: Yes, the gormless Vincent. Did I just commit this to paper? Never mind. Even idiots need a leg up. It’ll only be a matter of a very short time.

    I like two of the other boys, Tom and what’s his name. Who I do NOT like is Edna: She has that permanent look stapled to her face as if she has just stepped into a fresh cow pad. Or worse. Think dog. The smell alone. Leaving the health hazard to one side.


  4. […] thought the overuse of the word “literally” was bad enough. But Natasha’s desire to end even the most brief sentence with the word […]

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