No man is an island…not even if it is a pirate island

The “modern life is rubbish” phase I continue to go through did not materialise with the retreat of my hairline, or even the onset of middle age.

I’ve been wallowing quite happily in this particular mire since my teens.

Let me be clear that when I refer to modern life I don’t necessarily mean technology, which many a grumpy old fool struggles with.

Rather it is the pervading attitudes that I really cannot fathom. I quite often feel like I’m swimming against the tide of popular opinion, but then even when I might agree with something I invariably don’t appreciate the way it is presented.

The prospect of throwing in the towel and fleeing to my own, private, secluded island is one that I have been seduced by many times over many years.

So when islands become available to buy – such as Sully Island off the coast of the land of my father’s at a knock-down price of £95,000 – my initial reaction tends to be: “Let’s move there!”

A deserted island yesterday.

When there are so many plus points to such a move as there is with Sully Island – the pirate heritage undoubtedly appeals, as does the close proximity to Cardiff and all things rugby…oh and my family too, obviously – then I’m instantly head over heels in love with the idea. Lord of all survey has the kind of ring to it that appeals.

Even better, there’s Thorn Island off the coast of Pembrokeshire. This island comes with its own fort, exactly what the average wannabe escapee wants.

But then reality starts to bite.

The practical questions become difficult to answer.

The dream slowly turns into a nightmare.

And I’m back to square one bemoaning those features of modern life I’d dearly love to escape from.

Even though the interwebs now offer all sorts of help for those of us with a strong sense of escapism – such as handy tips on how to survive on a deserted island – there’s too much “stuff” to consider before I could realistically consider putting a deposit down on my own island hideaway.

That’s another reason to hate modern life – the “stuff” always gets in the way.

So my island escape dream remains just that for now.

But, rest assured, when I do finally work through the stuff and the dream becomes a reality, none of you will be invited to the house warming.