My initial thought was, why stop at 12?
But then I mellowed a little and wondered why the newspaper had chosen to single out this dirty dozen. Admittedly, they’ve picked out some corkers and choosing Stuart “The Brand” Baggs certainly endeared me to the article.
Yet I can’t help thinking writing such an article is akin to shooting fish in a barrel. Even the winners have their shameful moments so when you look to pick the most idiotic candidates aren’t you really pointing a finger at them all?
Point to the full list of candidates and you’ll always pick a prize pillock out, someone who has uttered a completely nonsensical sentence or made a totally crass decision.
Even the great and the good of the series – Lord Sugar and his helpers – have suffered their own bouts of stupidity over the course of the series.
Which brings us neatly to the latest candidates for the ultimate idiot crown.
And we have a few early contenders. This week’s Herculean task was to amass a lot of second-hand stuff and sell it on at a profit.
The two teams set up in junk shops located in London’s trendy East End (sic) and we were reliably informed the area is “home to a thriving market in retro and refurbished household goods”. Always a sure sign that we’re about to witness abject failure.
From sourcing productsat auctions, through to the desperate attempts to sell on to members of the public who clearly were amused and bemused by the shoal of idiots flitting around them – “Come on, £1! For a chair! Buy it!” – The Apprentice wannabes lived up to the idiocy benchmark set by countless candidates who went before them.
Chief idiot amongst the latest crowd is possibly the very loud Adam, a market trader who loves the sound of his own voice and is not afraid to express an opinion – no matter how wide of the mark it is.
What really irritated last night (and in a couple of previous episodes) was his continuous sniping that the project manager had got the strategy all wrong. Basically, no-one has got a clue what they are doing and he’s the one who inevitably steps in to save the day…in his own mind, obviously, as we’ve seen precious little evidence of what his strengths actually are so far.
Last night he was shaking his head at every decision project manager Tom made and was quick to voice his opinion that the team was doomed to failure because the strategy was all wrong. And yet, Adam was the first with the celebratory high fives once it became clear the doomed strategy had netted a £1,000 profit and a comfortable victory.
Credit where it is due, Tom led his team well last night. But he did seemed doubtful of his own ideas at times and once more a project manager was grateful that the opposing team was slightly more crap.
Adam’s constant sniping during a task, followed by misplaced triumphalism, is nothing new on The Apprentice. But he has managed to take it to a new, obnoxious level by his sheer gobbyness – all mouth and trousers, some might say.
This week we waved goodbye to company director Jane, who scared the living daylights out of those walking along Brick Lane – which is no mean feat – and only managed to sell £10 worth of goods. Lord Sugar seemingly can forgive many things, but poor sales technique and returns are major failings.
Not that Jane seemed that bothered and she made it clear she would return to the hugely successful business she has built up with her husband with her head held high.
So another business owner departs to return to being the big fish in their own little pond – is there a trend developing here?
One final note – how odd does Gabrielle look when walking with the rest of the group across that bridge in the opening titles? With her head up, a purposeful-stride and arms behind her back she looks pretty daft.
Not that such things matter on a show where business acumen is all important, obviously.